12am.com.au : Mixing Music Media - So Hot for 30th July


	.: So Hot for 30th July

date: 30th July 2004
columnist: Margaux 'Damned' Carlos

So Hot…

JURASSIC 5
Hip hop veterans that need no introduction, considering they rock the boat that makes you float in Australia every year! For those who missed out on their sold out at Prince last night make sure you check them out tonight at Metro. With support from Scribe and DJ Selekt, hurry hurry hurry as tix as going going gone!

STAEN 1’S FLAVOURS OF THE MONTH
Australian current champion for the DMC Technics World DJ Championships shares with us his top ten records for the week-

LOW PROFILE "We’re in This Together"
CMW "Its a Compton Thang "
STEADY B "Let the Hustlers Play"
CEB "Coutin Endless Bank"
ABOVE THE LAW " Livin’ Like Hustlers "
HI C "Skanless"
TIM DOG "Penicillin on Wax"
ICE T "Power"
HYJACK "The Original Horns of Jericho"
SCRIBE "The Crusader"

SOUND SUMMIT ANNOUNCES FIRST ARTISTS
Sound Summit regrets to inform that Matmos has cancelled their Sound Summit / Australian tour. Unfortunately due to work commitments, the duo were not able to commit to their tour. However, we are pleased to announce that hip hop/electronic producer Boom Bip (Lex Records) and Greg Davis, the electronic / folk master (Carpark) have been confirmed as headline artists for this year’s event. Joining them will be some of Australia’s leading independent hip hop and electronic producers including Paul Mac, TZU, Dsico, Sub Bass Snarl and many more that will be announced in the coming weeks. Sound Summit is Australia’s leading independent hip hop and electronic music conference. The three day event will be held in Newcastle from October 1 – 3, as part of the annual This Is Not Art extravaganza. Please check out www.soundsummit.org [launching soon!] and www.thisisnotart.org for more details.

DJ SHADOW RATES PRINCE PO!
Prince Po is half of legendary 90s rap group Organized Konfusion, which he formed with Pharaoh Monch. Now teaming up with the infamous Danger Mouse (of 'The Grey Album' fame), Prince Po is set to release his astounding debut album. 'The Slickness' is a stunning combination of hip hop, RnB, electronica and booty. This must have will be released on Lex Records - one of the most exciting hip hop labels to have emerged in the past few years. With Madlib and J Zone on production duties and an awesome Richard X remix of single "Hold Dat", this is one of the freshest sounding albums this year.

SUMMER RAIN
Belinda Carlisle’s old school classic has been revitalised with a new school twist! Uplifting vocals and rich harmonies from three talented girls equate to what we call Slinkee Minx. Mix the eclectic sounds with funky beats, an electrifying stage presence and sassy attitudes and you have a cocktail of explosive proportions! Make sure you check out their upcoming single featuring bonus remixes by Zander & KCB!!

So Not…
DODGY HOLIDAY COMPETITIONS
Where you have to attend a seminar to pick up your ‘free’ holiday which actually costs $29 for ‘administrative fees’. Hmmm…

WAITERS WITH ATTITUDE
Who can’t be bothered to do their job and serve you ‘cos they work in what once was a cool hideout in Brunswick Street which is now way past its use by date for coolness.

CRAPPY WANNABE THIEVES
Whose only success was jamming up our front security and garage doors so they couldn’t get in! Nice one brovas!

DELAYED E.T.A.’s
Where is my digital camera and why can’t anyone help me? It’s so way over 10 working days and ‘customer care’ has not gotten back to me, despite repeated phone calls. Customer care my a**!

COUNTRY RUNS
Of sales reps so they love and leave their partner for a few torturous days. Exaggerated? I think dnot. Sigh. Absence certainly makes the heart grow fonder…I missed you babes!

So What…

What will help you pick up?

25 AUSTIN POWERS CHAT UP LINES

1) I wish you were a door so I could bang you all day long.
2) (Lick finger and wipe on her shirt) Let's get you out of those wet clothes.
3) Nice legs... What time do they open?
4) Do you work for the post office? I thought I saw you checking out my package.
5) You've got 206 bones in your body, want one more?
6) Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?
7) I may not be the best looking guy in here, but I'm the only one talking to you.
8) I'm a bird watcher and I'm looking for a Big Breasted Bed Thrasher, have you seen one?
9) I'm fighting the urge to make you the happiest woman on earth tonight.
10) Wanna play army? I'll lie down and you can blow the hell outta me.
11) I'd really like to see how you look when I'm naked.
12) You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.
13) You must be the limp doctor because I've got a stiffy.
14) I'd walk a million miles for one of your smiles, and even farther for that thing you do with your tongue.
15) If it's true that we are what we eat, then I could be you by morning.
16) (Look down at your crotch) Well, it's not just going to suck itself.
17) You know, if I were you, I'd have sex with me.
18) You, Me, Whipped cream and Handcuffs. Any questions?
19) Those clothes would look great in a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor.
20) My name is (name)...remember that, you'll be screaming it later.
21) Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?
22) Hi, the voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you.
23) I know milk does a body good, but DAMN, how much have you been drinking?
24) Do you sleep on your stomach? Can I?
25) Do you wash your pants in Mr Sheen because I can see myself in them?

"Life is a paradox, you're damned if you do and damned if you don't"
– Bart Simpson

You feelin’ me? Forward all bribes, blackmails and bootycalls to margaux@12am.com.au

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